i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
