I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
