"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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