she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You smell like stripper and shame
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize