Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize