I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
