My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
