do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
