Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
