My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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