Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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