She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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