Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The struggles of a small town man whore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize