I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize