Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
