shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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