I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
