True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
