i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
