i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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