Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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