Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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