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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fuck. Wron person. But yea

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better

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• (949): View more from California

  I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER

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• (650): View more from California

  What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?

  (858): View more from California

  Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie

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