I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
