he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
