I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
