there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
