Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We're too hungover to prance.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
