I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
