I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
