She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
