Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
