fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
