If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
