just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This toilet bowl is my home.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
