Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize