He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
