I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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