I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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