Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I see more hoeing in ur future
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