I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
