guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
