id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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