weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize