duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
