dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
