who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
