She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
