so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
