Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
