I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize