I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
