the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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