There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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