So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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