Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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