dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
