you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We need to get me chipped asap
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
