loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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