My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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