"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
