My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
