who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
