We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
