just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
